Monday, July 26, 2010

A slight variation

So far I have only posted restaurant reviews with the occasional rant about something that is pissing me off. The next couple of posts will be slightly different. First off - I want to talk about a meal that I will probably never have but have read a fair bit about and would love to experience. And secondly - I'm searching for Melbourne's best canoli...more about these later.

So the meal....fair warning for you all, some of you won't want to read this. So if you keep reading and don't like it - don't blame me.

Ortolan - fat, blind birds.

The meal probably became famous as Francois Mitterand's last meal. His description of this meal is to this day one of the most descriptive, emotional and confronting descriptions of a meal I have ever read.

Let me tell how it's made. Ortolan is a small bird. Looks like a finch. It's native to Europe and parts of Asia and is becoming increasingly extinct. They are very difficult to find and to do so would probably require a shady contact in the black market. But it's not the "extinct" bit that is the problem. I mean we all know someone who can get black market finch like birds right?

It's the preparation. The birds are caught and then blinded by having a hot poker pushed through their eyes. The reason for this is to blind the birds (!) and trick them in to not knowing if it is night or day. Why a blanket over a cage wouldn't work is beyond me. Once blinded they are fed a mix of grains, millet, oats and figs - all to enhance the flavour of the meat.

Over a short period of time (probably feels like forever to a blinded bird) the birds reach the perfect plumpness and are ready for the next step. This is a little nicer than the hot eye gouging they have just been through. The birds are drowned in Armagnac, plucked, and roasted (do you like how I skipped over the drowning bit?).

They are roasted individually in small pots so that they can be served in the pot to the lucky diner. The birds aren't gutted. The heads and legs are intact. They are served in their small individual pots ("cocotte" in French). The extra fat they built up during their blind gorging sizzles against the heat of the pot.

As the lid comes off a dash of Armagnac is flamed and the birds are ready to eat. The birds are eaten after placing a napkin over one's head (ode to VK) in order to intensify the aroma (or maybe to hide your face in shame?). The bird is traditionally picked up by the skull and placed feet first into your mouth. Only the head sticking out. Then you crunch down on their plump little bodies and let the lusciously cooked gooey mixture of fat, bird guts and armagnac fill your mouth. Little bones crunching between your teeth, hot gushes of flavour running down your throat.

Eventually you eat the head and beak. I have read some people have experienced the piercing and scratching of their own gums from the sharp little bones - so add the taste of your own blood to the bird fat, fig, armagnac and bird gut mixture.

This is the most decadent of meals. And the reason I can write about it is because I will probably never experience it. But it does capture everything that food could be. Luscious. Decadent. Rare. Emotional. Extravagant. Moreover, I write about to prompt some of the seven people that read this blog to tell me what meal they might like to try. Or what they think about meals such as this one.

By the way - I am also starting to look for Melbourne's best canoli. Let me know if there are any you would recommend. I have had a couple in the last few days that I will write up shortly. No rules except that if I can't be bothered going to your cake shop, I won't.

Eat well!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

It's been a while

My last post was a while ago but with the start a new financial year I'll start posting more regularly. New review up soon!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Sud - 219 King st - Another boring Italian restaurant

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. Seems the AFL final series has me a little preoccupied. I had reason to go to SUD during the week. First of all SUD was the choice because it was close to where we were not because we made a special trip there. While it wasn't terrible, there was very little that really impressed me. There was 3 of us. We had entrees and mains, no dessert, 1 bottle of wine and the bill (not cheque !) was $300.

Entrees were $21.00 each and the wait staff tell us they are designed to be shared. Ok this makes sense and sounds like a good idea, especially after seeing the entrees that went to the table next to us, we thought that sharing was a good idea. Which prompted the following conversation:

Me: "Is that the normal size of the entrees?" (inconspicuously pointing to the table next to us)
Waiter: "Yes that's right"
Me: "Looks like sharing them would be a great idea"

We ordered the white anchovy and french bean salad, the octopus, and the quail. The three dishes are served to each of the three of us individually and if we did try and share them we would have starved. I got one par-boned quail. Predominantly leg. Not one of the dishes was really shareable. And even if we wanted to this was made even more difficult by the fact that we had no plates to share anything on. The best I can say is that the braised radicchio was good.

I ordered the cotechino as a main which was meant to be boiled then grilled. Well there was no evidence of it being grilled. And for those of you that don't know cotechino it's quite a fatty Italian sausage that is the size of a salami. It is usually wrapped in muslin and boiled, then either sliced and eaten as is with horseradish, or you can grill the slices. GRILL the slices - means put them somewhere near a grill. Preferably on the grill so that it actually GRILLS. The flavour was good, the cherry tomato muck thrown over the top of it took away from the flavour and the soft polenta was obviously of some rare variety that can only be served by the teaspoon full. It would have cost them $0.80c to make - would it kill them to give me a decent portion?

My fellow diners had lamb and kingfish which just looked boring. The green salad had no dressing that I could detect and the obligatory "rosemary garlic potatoes" were like "rosemary and garlic potatoes" that every other half arsed Italian restaurant serves up.

I first went to SUD about 10 years ago I think. A couple of loud but friendly Italian boys ran it and it was fun. The food was fresh, just innovative enough to give you something new but still be familiar and the 2 times I had been there were great. Well it ain't that place any more. It's boring.

The lack of effort that went in to writing the menu up in crappy handwriting on a metal "whiteboard" with a crappy black marker that I couldn't read from 2 metres away is sadly reflected in the lack of attention in the food.

On the plus side the staff were really nice. But unfortunately that's not enough. The place isn't bad - it's just not good. if you need good Italian go somewhere else like Cecconi, da Noi. You can be bored shitless for a lot less than $300.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Jacques Reymond - and Barr'd

This is simple actually - don't waste your fucking time anywhere else. Just go to JR's. Everything is always perfect.

On the other hand there is Barr'd. A small tapas/bar thing in Ivanhoe East. I'm not entirely sure but I thought tapas was meant to invite you to eat more, relax, enjoy the conversation....let me check the definition.....

"The serving of tapas is designed to encourage conversation because people are not so focused upon eating an entire meal that is set before them."

I guess that's right. There was no way we were going to eat the entire meal that was set down before us. And that's not a good thing. There was some fish thing that failed to taste at all like fish. The dips were good - but they were either Black Swan or Chris's dips from the local supermarket. The bread that accompanied the dips was crap. Then there were these fancy chicken strips which were just mini chicken parmigiana bits. Come one guys - first of all it's not even close to being Spanish - which in my very simple mind I thought tapas should be, or at least be close to. Secondly, if I got some McCains frozen pizza strips, slapped a bit of cheese on it, some tomato sauce from a jar, fired it under the griller for a few minutes and charged $9.00 - my mother would slap me for being a prick.

Save your money - don't go to this place or places like it for 6 weeks. Then take all your shiny dollar coins to Jacques Reymond and really enjoy yourself.

Monday, May 4, 2009

de Vine - cnr Market and Clarence - Sydney

Now as most of you that know me will already know - there's not much about Sydney that I like. As a friend of mine said once, "it's a concept full of Kodak moments". Not something that I really understand but I remember it made me laugh at the time.

Anyway - on the things food. de Vine is a fantastic restaurant on the corner of Market and Clarence streets. I am not sure how you would describe the cuisine but the owner is Austrian and I think has spent a fair bit of time in Italy - so you get things like risotto and pasta which are always outstanding.

A week or so ago I was there to send off a good friend of mine (Alex you know who you are!) and we put ourselves in the owner's hands - which as it turned out was an OUTSTANDING thing to do.

We started with John Dory which came with a crab meat salad and a very fresh herb, finely diced tomato and caper dressing. Drizzled with a light, fruity olive oil. The fish was perfectly cooked and the layers of flavours created by the moist white flesh, crispy skin, olive oil and toppings was a delight.

This was followed by a Duck Breast pate and Rabbit Rilette - I can't be sure but there was an amazing sauternes jelly served on the pate - and this was as good as I have eaten anywhere. There was ridiculous richness in the pate which just filled your mouth. The dish was accompanied by Knoll Guener Veltiner Loibenberg 2007 which is not commercially available in Australia but sourced directly by Andreas Puhar the owner. Andreas used to be the sommelier at the Bather's Pavillion. His love of wine is infectious and we are lucky that he has chosen to share it with us.

Let me stop just for a second - I have never in my life had a more perfect matching of food and wine than I had at de Vine. Every mouthful and every drop was on the verge of perfection.

Ok back to the food. My favourite disch of the night followed. First my tastebuds were treated to a Mauro Molino Barbera Vigna Gattere 2004 from Piemonte. WOW. Then came the quail and porcini mushroom risotto. Now I am partial to a good risotto and I even like to kid myself into thinking that the one I make is pretty good. But this was sensational. The intensity of the flavours, the texture of the rice, the moistness of the quail - all perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Get it? It was perfect. Sorry for the crappy photo below.




Veal Involtini - and while this was moist and the taste was spot on - the only thing that I think could have improved it was a little more colour. The veal was graet but I like to see the effect of the pan. We ended the night with creme brulee which for me is always a bit of a tester for restaurants. It's not a really difficult dish but when it's done really well - there isn't much better. And these guys nailed it. Great vanilla tone, rich but not cloying.

I think this is a great place - however we may have been a little blessed by being able to get a special menu made up for us. But as an overall eperience it's great. And if you put yourselves in the hands of your host Andreas for food and wine - you will be happy.

eat well.

Cas de Vin - be ashamed

Yep - you guessed it. Grilled Atlantic Salmon on a bed of Spinach. BORING!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Bistro Vue

This is without a doubt one of my favourites at the moment. For lots of reasons. Last Saturday night we dined at Bistro Vue (the bistro behind Vue de Monde) and it was probably our 4th or 5th time there. On every occasion the service and food has been outstanding. Except for one small grip - more of that later.

Entrees were a delicate cepe omelette for me and my wife had the smoked salmon which is gorgeously presented. Probably 8 very thin slices of smoked salmon which I think they do themselves. On the side creme fraiche, some thinly diced white onion and tiny capers. The treat was the house baked brioche which sits in the middle of the wooden plate in the terracotta pot it is just baked in. All of it sensational

Main for me was pork with 4 cheeses - which while delicious was not what I expected. Slowly roasted pork topped with what I thought was a crust of 4 cheeses but was a soft airy pasty like substance. Honestly - has good as it was it would have been better if it was a crust rather than a spongey cheese matter. Makes me wonder how they cooked it ???

No room for dessert this time but in recent visits we have had the pleasure of the chocolate souffle and the tarte tatin - both of which are outstanding.

One criticism. In at least 4 visits over 18 months, the menu has not noticably changed. There is a daily special which always sounds good. But come on guys. If I'm paying $200 for dinner and like it enough to come back then maybe some seasonal dishes. I don't mind the strong favourites staying on the menu, actually I find it comforting. But to replace at most 3 dishes on a 25+ dish menu over 18 months is just taking the piss.

Service is always good - even though I am getting tired of getting served by pasty private school prats who think putting on a shitty french accent somehow adds to the experience.

I committed to going back because we like it - however when I ring to book a table I will be asking if the menu has changed and if it hasn't I will probably go to Bistro Guillaume for French.

Definitely worth going if you haven't been there. Overall it was about $195 which included 3 glasses of VC and 2 glasses of French white. Wine list is pretty good BTW. Here is a link to their website and you can download the menu here. They also have an express business lunch which looks good.

Having been to the bistro a few times and the restaurant twice - I would honestly go to the bistro over the restaurant. But that's just me.

Enjoy!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Some restaurants tire me

Melbourne is spoilt for choice when it comes to restaurants. We can eat anything, from any country, any time pretty much. We have great top end restaurants and the middle layer is quite strong - and probably what makes Melbourne a better place for eating than Sydney.

But it is this middle layer that is really starting to shit me. It seems that any hack chef hang out a shingle and call himself a restaurant. Now don't get me wrong, not every restaurant needs to be a ground breaking experience. Not every restaurant has to break the rules of convention and challenge our palettes, but by the same token not every restaurant has to serve up the same crappy dishes and think they are doing us all a favour.

My pet hate of the moment, "Grilled Atlantic Salmon, served on a bed of spinach, and creamy mash". Give me a fucking break. Next time you are out - count how many times you see this dish, or subtle unimaginative versions of it written up on blackboards all over town.

What the fuck did you people learn at school ? Do you have no imagination at all. Do you all have to do this freaking salmon dish ? Do you all have to have a "Chicken Caesar salad" on the menu? Do you even know that Caesar Salad does not have chicken in it? Call it a fucking chicken salad so we all know what we are getting. I don't want to order a Caesar Salad and not get a Caesar Salad.

When did you rag-arse hacks decide that spaghetti amatriciana has olives and peppers and other shit in it? If it's not a real carbonara then don't call it a carbonara. These names have been around for years - don't serve up crap and think you can get away with it by giving it a traditional name that everybody recognises. When I see something on the menu that has a known recipe then that is what I expect to get. If you're going to change it call it "Spaghetti alla I don't have a clue", then at least we know what we are getting and how much we should trust you.

So in addition to some rather random and intermittent reviews I am going to name and shame restaurants that are showing zero imagination, or that think they are smarter than years of history.

Stay tuned and feel free to share your "favourites".

Jimmy

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Yak Bar - Russell St Melbourne

Two words - DON'T BOTHER. If the greasy grilled calamari isn't enough the tinny $2.00 sound system blasting overhead will push you over the edge. The place is grimy, dark and the food not worth mentioning. $60 for a plate of grilled calamari and a pea and "prociutto' (sic) risotto. Now I don't know about you but I thought risotto was cooked rice...cooked slowly, allowed to absorb the flavours and moisture of good quality stock. It seems Yak bar have changed the definition.

Sorry but don't waste your time here.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Bistro Guillaume

Having taken over the old Prada store at Crown Casino - Bistro Guillaume is simple and evenly tempered French. We started with drinks downstairs - I didn't even know there was a bar there, but our table wasn't ready so we opted for some bubbles. Good selection too. Not many places stocking Salon in Melbourne. Just going back to Prada - What the hell is taking so long with their Collins Street store??? I mean how hard is it????

There were 6 of us at dinner - the bill was about $800 which included 2 glasses of Dom at about $60 a pop so not too bad. Overall everyone loved their meals. I had the french onion soup and steak frites. The soup was fantastic - thick and rich - probably down to the hearty veal stock that is used as the base. One of my fellow diners had the smoked salmon - served with a toasted brioche. Almost exactly the same as the bistro at Vue de Monde.

The steak was a treat - perfectly medium rare and full of flavour.

Complaints - well the staff were a bit of a let down but I think that may have been just our young lady. The more senior staffers seemed to be on their game but our young girl had to be reminded of some drinks that never found their way to the table and there was a noticeable lack of knowleged or confidence when she was telling us about the specials.

For those of you who want a closer look at the menu you can find it here .

It's a gutsy call to open this place given the success and hype that surrounds Vue. But I think they do it well. The bar and restaurant work well together and the menu, overall, is quite tempting and well crafted.

Worth a look - especially for a special night out but maybe a little crowded for an intimate dinner for two.

Enjoy!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Bamboo House - Lt Bourke St, Melbourne

People in Melbourne will crap on about Flower Drum and how good it is......all I have to say to them is get a freakin' clue! Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with Flower Drum but you can get better Chinese at half the price in a lot of other places. I mean give me 2 waiters instead of 6 and charge me half the price! Sure you might see someone famous there but give me a break.

I digress.

Bamboo House is a sensation. I'm not going to go on about every dish but the Peking duck, smoked duck, pan fried dumplings, chilli prawns, mandarin pork, szechuan dishes....whatever...all SENSATIONAL.

The guy there will look after you - Alex, Russell, who can remember ?? You'll know him when you see him - Chinese guy with a beard and a really deep voice.

Just get there and you'll love it.

Fingers

The Society Restaurant - Bourke Street, Melbourne

The Society

I won't bore you with the history. You can read that yourself at http://www.societyrestaurant.com. Bottom line - The Society was around when my dad first came to Australia many years ago. Then it disappeared for a while and now it's back in an updated form.

They've tried to capture the Italian restaurant feel that is a little bit cliched (chandeliers, mirrors, random Italian images and writing on the wall) and they've done it really well.

Overall the food is great. The night I was there we had entrees mains and dessert:

Entrees:

Eggplant Parmigiana - fantastic. Delicious layers of eggplant, tomato & buffalo mozzarella. Great napoli sauce over the top. Hints of fresh basil.

Twice cooked duck - served layered with delicate flaky pastry, this was an absolute delight.

Mains:

Gnocchi with a rich beef ragu hinted with white truffle oil. Delicate. Delicious. The actual gnocchi were good (not as good as the bar at Florentinos but the sauce was MUCH better). Just enough truffle flavour from the oil and the ragu was rich and flavoursome.

Pan seared pork rib eye served on the bone with a "just sweet enough" orange glaze. The apple cider jelly was well presented but had no real flavour - if you can't taste it what's the point??

Sides - rocket salad and some hand cut chips. All good.

Dessert

What a disaster. Chocolate ravioli that were tough and actually tasted pretty ordinary. Almost (but not quite) saved by the vanilla bean custard filling which was nice. I'm sure this sounded like a good idea when someone said, "hey how about some chocolate ravioli?", but overall this was actually quite bad.

Coffee - short black. Not my favourite brand of coffee (Dimattina) but ended the meal well.

We drank a couple of glasses of prosecco and pinot grigio - both from the north of Italy and both great.

Service was also very good. Attentive enough without being over-bearing even if our young waitress had a bit of trouble remembering the specials. They did make us feel very welcome in typical Italian fashion and I'd definitely go back.

At $160 for 2 people it was pretty good value for what you got. They also kept an eye on my illegally parked car for me.

If you want a good night out, reasonably priced with a nice touch of Italy - this is the place. Just pick carefully when you get to dessert.

Eat well!

Fingers

Why is this blog here?

So why does this blog exist?


Well over my 42 years in Melbourne I've eaten at pretty much most of Melbourne's bars and restaurants. Ok maybe not most but lots of them. This place is somewhere you can come to get a warts and all review of where I've been.

No gimmicks. No fancy reviews. No lies. Just what it is. Feel free to add, message ask...whatever.

Over the coming weeks I will add some from recent history and we'll go from there.

Hope you enjoy the read and better still get to the good places and close down the crap ones.

Drink less but drink better.


Fingers